For the latest from the world’s most unstoppable media juggernaut, visit theonion.com.
when the revolution begins and you have to shoot the fbi agent assigned to you
me: huh damn i’m bored
the 2% of my brain that isn’t actively sabotaging me: do your assignments. read a book. take a fucking shower
me:
Would you trust a white man who says “wus poppin?” unironically?
I trust Hugh Neutron with my life
